In this episode, I’m chatting with the authors of Every Little Win: How Celebrating Small Victories Can Lead to Big Joy, Brooke and Todd Tilghman. You might recognize Todd as the winner of season 18 of NBC’s The Voice, but in this conversation, he and Brooke share how their focus on joy and celebrating every little win has helped them to overcome numerous challenges over their twenty-plus-year marriage. They also help us understand how we can help our children (and ourselves) battle negative thoughts through daily practices.
Key points from our conversation:
👂 It’s important for parents to say less and listen more. Try holding family meetings and allow each child to express what the family is doing well at, what the biggest issue is from their perspective, and what they think you could do better as parents.
🧠 Managing fear and anxiety comes from monitoring our thoughts, which affect our feelings. It’s important to model this for our children by battling our own thoughts first.
🙁 You’ll know when a child’s neurochemistry begins to change when overwhelm turns into hopelessness or depression.
🙏 The work of eliminating negative thoughts will take time. Pray, seek counseling, do the daily work, and if necessary, consider medication.
💊 With every major life transition comes grief. There’s no shame in getting some extra help with medication for difficult seasons.
✝️ We can’t rely on others to fix us, we have to turn to God and do the hard work of fixing ourselves – hopefully with the support of our partner.
🤝 We win when we can share our struggles with others and help them see they’re not alone.